he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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