he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
