Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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