In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
