sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
