i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
