You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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