I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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