I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
