mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
