Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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