put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
