whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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