I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
