I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
