Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
