Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
