Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
