I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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