i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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