Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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