she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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