Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's shark week go big or go home
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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