i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
