Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Im part way to drunk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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