this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
