i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
