just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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