You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
