I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
