i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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