ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
