I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
