dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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