question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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