is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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