The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
