why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
