She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize