What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
love makes seman taste better
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
