So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
