and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
