if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
