i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
