erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's shark week go big or go home
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
