I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
