If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
