I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
