How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so explain again why im purple
no
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
