Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
