I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize